Friends on Facebook and Path post their pictures with their fathers today, wishing their beloved Daddys a “Happy Father’s Day”.

Now, let me write mine.

**

Dear Pak Wongso,

Sorry that I have never said this to you my whole life.
So, let me start this note by wishing you “Happy Father’s Day”.
*hug

Your leaving last week was very surprising.
Mom, brothers, family, friends all were surprised.
That Sunday morning, you still ordered a meat from the butcher near our house, to be cooked on Monday.
This we knew from the old ‘a cek’ who was very shocked to hear the news about you last week.
I bet you’d planned to cook us a pot of your most favorite pork soup to welcome me and Mom who just arrived at home from Jakarta on Sunday night.
Ah, still, you are the best chef I know!

Losing you this way is very upsetting.
It’s not that I feel upset with you.
Instead I feel upset with myself.
Too much good things that I haven’t given and told you.
I wish for many “I wish”.
But, I know that you will have listened to my prayers everyday.
Hopefully you are happy listening to all the good and funny things I’ve told you these few days.

Some people keep on asking us whether there is this ‘appearance’ from you.
I watched many horror movies so I wish you’ll understand that I also visualized something creepy.
But, they have no idea how I wish to see you’re sitting at your favorite chair again,
Turning on the Chinese TV channels at its highest volume,
Or yelling at me because you didn’t consider it as ‘yelling’ as your hearing ability had significantly decreased within this past year,
And, seeing you waving your hands to me from through door when I was driving the car away.
I miss the last one the most.

However, I know that you love us very much so you won’t let that ‘creepy’ things happen.
I told mom that you will fight all ‘the bad things’ that try to bother us. =)
Besides, I don’t believe in such things though.
Thus, I always visualize your presence myself.
It works so far.
Yes, I do feel frightened, but it only last for a few seconds.
I feel happier though to still can feel you at home.

Dear Pak Wongso,

Our home is very quiet since your leaving,
Wherever you are now,
I hope that you are happy with your present life.
I know that you will because you have many good friends there.
You won’t feel lonely because you have met many friends who have gone earlier, those whom you can talk about politics or China or your young life to, the topic that you love the most.

Dear Pak Wongso,

Thanks for being the greatest dad for us all.
You have to know of how proud we are for having you as our dad.
With all journey and days that we have spent together,
You will always stay in our heart.

Oh,

One more thing.

Now I know why I love writing,
Beside it’s mom’s hobby,
It is also yours.
I found that you wrote many notes on the books or papers.
You even wrote down the countries that Jokowi will visit when he becomes a president,
I think you read that from the newspaper and had it written as a reminder.
This is so funny of you.

Happy Father’s Day, Papa.

We love you.
Take a good care of yourself.
You always have us wherever you are right now.

=)

Love,

Me.