When Life Falls Apart

I had written about this song when Mr. Mraz celebrated his birthday, last June. But, since what happened today is coincide with the mood of this song, please let me spin a yarn about it for a second time.

According to Jason Mraz, there are three things that you can do when your life falls apart, whatever the reasons are; the broke up after 8 years relationship, the lost of a few hundred dollars which you have saved for years, the death of someone you love, whatever the reasons are, I think few tips that Mr. Mraz has suggested through this song are worth trying.

  1. Cry your eyes out and dry up your heart.
    Been here? Yes, crying is the first thing that your normal eyes will react toward the situation you have. It’s normal to cry. But, remember, crying all day and night won’t change anything but the size of your swollen eyes. Thus, Mraz added, “Not until I do this will my new life start, So that’s the first thing that I do when my life falls apart”. Yes, it’s the first natural step that will happen to every human being once they feel that life falls apart. You are not alone.
  2. Close both of your eyes, and say your thank-yous to each and every moment of your life.
    In this chapter, after that crying scene, you will feel that your heart is a bit relieved. “Thank you” is really a charm for you to realize that you don’t need to feel that miserable about the bad things you have. Start thinking about this, “I go where I know the love is and let it fill me up inside”. If it works, then you’ll get through this, “Gathering new strength from sorrow, I’m glad to be alive”. Okay? Now, it’s the last thing you can do when your world caves in…
  3. You pause, take a breath, and bow and let that chapter end.
    Yes, after all sadness, your aching heart needs its time to take a breath. Hence, you need to pause and let the chapter end, at least for now. It’s not that you are running away from the thing which has tore you apart. No, you don’t. You take a space to see things differently. Unless you step out from that black hole for a while, you’ll never be able to see the light.

Have you gone through all these steps? Are you thinking of start doing so? If it’s a yes, the last thing that you should do and think after whole things have been done is, “I design my future bright not by where my life has been. And I try again.” 

  1. Things are looking up.
  2. Beyond the dark the sun is rising.
  3. Above the clouds the sun is shining.
  4. Love is still the answer I’m relying.
  5. Things are looking up.

Still feeling upset? Take a breath, plug in your headset, turn up your laptop volume, now let’s sing along.

I’ve played 3 Things more than three times in a row today. And it works pretty well.

Hope it works on you too! =)

Krisis Teman

Punya banyak teman itu, ENAK! Nggak punya teman, SEDIH! 

Salah satu kendala besar yang gue hadapi setelah menjalani hidup baru di Pontianak adalah mencari teman baru. Waktu SMA, gue bukan anak gaul yang berteman dengan banyak orang. Jalan-jalan keliling kota, nongkrong, atau apapun kegiatan seru anak muda kala itu, sangat jauh dari memori gue tentang kehidupan SMA. Pulang sekolah, gue langsung pulang. Kadang les. Malam, jarang kemana-mana. Apalagi, jaman itu nggak ada mol. Uang pun pas-pasan. Sebagian besar waktu gue dihabiskan dengan kegiatan di vihara. Karena itu, sebagian besar teman ya teman vihara. Teman SMA yang jumlahnya minim itu pun sudah terpencar kesana kemari. Hanya tinggal satu dua teman yang ada di kota ini.

Begitu pindah ke sini, gue kelimpungan menghabiskan waktu. Untung ada Lina dan Lauren yang cukup setia menemani. Lina, karena satu kursus dan satu vihara dengan gue, bisa menemani dalam waktu waktu yang cukup banyak. Lauren, karena punya kegiatan di toko, jarang bisa menemani. Tapi tetap saja, gue masih merasa kesepian dan kekurangan teman. :(

Untuk poin yang ini, gue sering merasa sedih. Mengingat betapa banyaknya teman-teman di Jakarta, gue sering merasa sepi. Kami bisa berbincang berjam-jam untuk topik bodoh sampai serius, menempuh berjam-jam kemacetan demi menempuh suatu tempat, bersiap-siapa sekian jam untuk bisa mejeng di mol kece, dan sebagainya.

Gue pun mulai berpikir, betapa besar peranan seorang teman. Prinsip lebih penting teman daripada pacar’ pun mulai gue yakini kebenarannya. Waktu yang gue habiskan bersama teman, menjadi pelarian terampuh, saat gue merasa jenuh, kesal, atau pusing dengan urusan pribadi.

Jadi, untuk kalian yang punya satu, dua, lima, sepuluh, atau banyak sekali teman, hargailah mereka, berterimakasihlah atas kehadiran mereka. Tanpa mereka, sungguh hidupmu akan sangat hambar.

Dengan ini, gue juga harus berterima kasih untuk Lina dan Lauren yang masih setia menemani gue. Dengan masih panjangnya perjalanan gue di kota ini, semoga gue, menemukan jalan lagi untuk mendapatkan teman-teman baru, melengkapi cerita gue bersama kalian. :).

Oh yah, terima kasih juga untuk vinnydubidu.wordpress yang sudah menjadi teman paling setia gue. Yang tak pernah protes mendengar curhatan gue. :)

This is a note dedicated to all of my friends, wherever you are. You know who you are. I miss you! :) 

One leg show

Day 5

Today is the fifth day after accident. I still got nothing to do, but laying down on bed. watching dvd, tv, calling friends, checking up twitter, facebook, eat some cakes, or drink a water. all done from bed. so, you might imagine what’s beside my bed. a drawer with everything inside.

some friends asking me ‘how’s your leg?’. I couldn’t tell you how far improvement has made. because since I couldn’t see anything on my leg, everything was still the same, except the part when I could feel my leg hurt inside, like the vain is reacting to something, which me and my brother pretend as the ‘growing bone’.

then, how do I feel now? well this might sounds corny. but I still feel sad somehow. especially everytime I think of asking someone to help me to do this and that, even a very easy thing, like taking a cloth from the lower drawer. my bad.

in time, I guess it’s time to change my mind into a positive way. by the time I couldn’t go anywhere, I might have a chance to do lots of thing that I couldn’t do before. let’s make a list.

  • watching DVD.
  • search for any information, for, scholarship (maybe?)
  • look for what’s happening around the world
  • learn how to make cookies
  • write more (inspiring) articles. ?
  • spend more time with mom and dad
  • reflect on how my life had gone so far, and what’s next
  • anyone needs stalking service? I might do one for you.

is that all?

at least, if I couldn’t do a thing outside the home, I can do many things from bed. so I wouldn’t waste too much time crying or regretting for what has happened.

life is short. if it isn’t now, then when?

at least I still have the guts to take picture

My walk

Among friends, I was known as Vinny-who-walk-faster-than-others. Some of them shouted out loud, some grabbed my hand to slower me down, and a man told me once “eh jangan lupa, bawa rombongan ni“.

Yeah that’s me and my feet.

Last Wednesday morning, I was about to go to work. All was ready. Uniform on, bag, breakfast, all were wraped. Then, I went upstairs to take plastic drawers down my dad’s room. So, with the drawer on the right hand, bag on the left, and my regular walk speed, my foot was flipped!

I was freezing for 5 seconds, stayed on the pose, my mom was down there, looked at me. I tried to walk back, but, I couldn’t feel anything on my right leg but extremely pain. I know, I wouldn’t walk.

Then, I move my but down (ngesot) ’til I get the second floor and jumped right off to my bed. My mom called ‘bibi tukang pijat’, who came 30 mins later.

Next thing I know about the bibi thing is totally sick. I crumbled like crazy, cried, held the pillow tight while I screamed.

The next day, I went to x-ray my leg. After saw the result, doctor said that the bone, right below my little toe, is broken, torn into two. The move wasn’t far, but it still shocked me off .

At that time, I still pretend myself that everything was fine. Whereas I asked the doctor about the solution, which could be surgury or get my legs gips.

When I sat down, while my mom bought the medicine, I cried alone like baby who lose his toys.

So, here we go. My leg was officialy gips-ed.


A month from now, I have to walk with 2 sticks, which is hard to walk with, especially when I have to go up or down (my room is at the 2nd floor). I have to wait for the bone to naturally grow itself and tight the broken part into one (back).

Well, it’s never been easy to walk not with your own feet. I have to call mom, dad, or brother, everytime I need a thing out of reach.

How I wish I could step my feet back like the old time. Walk fast like no one couldn’t catch me or heard my friends shout my name because I was far too far from them.

I want to walk back soon. I want to go back to work. I want to take the angkot and wait for the busway. I want to drive the car. I wish my foot will be back to normal like before, so I could walk fast like I did.
I really wish.

And, by this accident, I learnt how to take everything unemotionally, think twice before make a decision, and of course, be more careful. You people, don’t forget to always watch your step and love every part of your body. Be thankful for it.

Anyway, were you giving me a right x-ray result, doctor?


Terlalu indah dilupakan

Gara-gara ngeliat Naif tampil di TV, gue jadi keinget jaman wawancara David dan kawan-kawan waktu masa kuliah.

Dipikir-pikir, masa kuliah 5 tahun yang baru lewat itu ternyata penuh cerita seru. Mulai dari niat ngerjain tugas sampe bela-belain tidur ala kadarnya bak ikan pindang di kosan temen, telepon sana-sini minta bantuan karena kepepet deadline, termasuk juga nyamperin base camp Naif yang jauhnya naujubilah di belahan mana gitu (gue lupa). Yang gue inget cuma satu, tempat gelap itu gosipnya dijadiin tempat pembuangan bayi, demikian kata pak sopir malam itu. *hii*

Ya udah, intinya gue mau mengingat kembali kenangan semasa bersekolah di Surabaya dan Jakarta. :’)

Arahkan pointer Anda di pinggir foto, untuk keterangan lebih lanjut. 


Surabaya (2006 – 2008)
Memicingkan mata mencari stock foto semasa di surabaya yang terselip di folder laptop yang tak rapi sama sekali. Tapi syukurnya gue dapatkan juga. Dan, oemji, sekalian evaluasi, kayaknya kehidupan gue di Surabaya lebih banyak jalan-jalannya daripada kuliah. Terbukti dari dokumentasi yang tersimpan. Hahaha. Busuknya lagi, semua spot selalu kita manfaatkan untuk foto ala studio. Mulai dari di teras rumah, lift kampus, kursi toko walaupun nggak beli, sampai tengah sawah di bawah terik matahari. Mungkin itu menjadi pertanda bahwa gue sangat menikmati pertemanan, dibanding kuliah. Hehe.

Ini beberapa fotonya. Bukan salah siapa-siapa kami berpose begitu. Hanya mengikuti hasrat masa lalu.

Kita lagi belajar kok. Suer.
Pameran (lupa judul)
By : Maria


Jakarta (2008 – 2011)
Nah, dari beberapa foto yang ditemukan selama merantau di Jakarta, gue juga mendapatkan beberapa poin analisa. Pertama, gue nggak punya banyak teman di kampus. Mungkin karena perbedaan usia dan tidak punya kelas tetap. Alhasil teman gue pun ‘tumpangan’ temannya teman gue. Intinya, gue temenan baek sama temennya temen baek gue. *apa sih*. Gitu deh.

Tapi urusan tugas, tenang, gue tetap penanggung jawab yang paling rajin bok. Yang terus mensupport (baca : maksa) temen gue ikutan kerja. Terang aja ye masa’ kerja sendiri. Hehe.

Kelas pertama
Mereka ramah!
Kabur ke Anyer
Bersama Pak Ben
Studio TV LSPR
Bersama dosen kebanggaan


Dan, menutup tahun 2011, dengan sedikit berat hati, gue pun menyelesaikan perjuangan sedari tahun 2006 itu.


*makin kangennnnnnnnn*


Temen semasa kuliah sih udah mencar ke mana-mana.
Ada yang masih ngampus, ada yang udah nikah, ada yang belum lulus-lulus.
Tapi yang namanya memori tetap nggak bisa dihapus.

It’s such an experience to meet you all.
And even more than just a memory.
Good luck to you all.
Good luck to us.
Good luck to our future!